my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
