i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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