I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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