My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
