he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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