just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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