wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize
