There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
