Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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