I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Michael Bay diarrhea
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
