dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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