Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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