He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
