The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Let's paint friendship bongs
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
