why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
