awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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