Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
