Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
