Say something about gay babies.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
