She said her name was "party"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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