why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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