wat bout pragnant strippers??
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
