I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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