Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
