if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
