I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
