take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
