hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
