youre lurking in front of me
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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