I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
