i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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