I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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