wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
