I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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