Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
