I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
