I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
