Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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