she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
