so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
