i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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