ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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