Sponge bath it is.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
