i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
