Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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