Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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