Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
