I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
