So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
