you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I love you. Go after that dick
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
